the LIST

something i am constantly working with my clients on is the task of shifting their focus away from all the "woulda, coulda, shoulda's" (except i try to articulate it a little more professionally) and allow themselves to recognize the progress or small victories that have been accomplished, but are often overlooked. this is a very difficult task to some people - not so much for me...It's not that i spend too much time taking note of strengths as much as i don't spend enough time noting where change might be welcomed. i think i can air on the side on giving myself a few too many breaks. self-discipline just isn't always inherent for me, so every once in a while, i reign it back in and make mental notes of some things i would do more of, in an ideal world....today i figured why not actually write them down, look at them every so often and actually make an effort...genius. i think that's called follow-through, but i can't be entirely sure of course because i am very poor at it.
here goes:

I WOULD...

-buy fresh flowers every week to brighten up a room in my apartment.
-read up on social work models and techniques that would likely improve my practice
-spend within my means
-watch less reality TV and maybe a little more PBS
-try to actually make one of the million recipes i've cut out and saved over time (again, follow-through will be a theme)
-take vitamins and wear more sunscreen
-send more snail mail because heaven knows we get enough bills and junk mail that a friend's handwriting gracing a surprise hidden envelope would certainly bring a smile to my face
-eat less processed foods
-(wouldn't) pick at the skin around my nails when bored at a meeting or bite my nails during a suspenseful scene in a movie (ie. will the boy get the girl, will he!?? -- either way, my fingers should be OK by the end of it)
-draw and paint and create more, because i certainly wasn't given the gift of scientific logic or mathematical reasoning so i may as well exercise the side of the brain that i have on my side
-go to church every Sunday, because the essence of community overall seems to be getting lost in this day and age and what's more important that fostering your faith?

so those were some of the things i thought of today...and of course as i reread them now, it's fairly obvious to the social worker lens in me that this list is really peppered primarily with self-care strategies- whether relational, physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual...

so i'll get busy getting on that...love to know what others do for their own self-care needs!

"it's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most, not where you live, what you drive or the price tag on your clothes..."

 Just a couple things I'm feeling thankful for today. Yes, blue skies included. 

And if I could figure how to make a playlist I would upload some fantastic music that would make the grayest day seem sunny...because music has that magical power. But I can't yet, so I'll just recommend you listen to some Zac Brown Band, Ingrid Michaelson  or Joshua Radin and a gratitude list will suddenly be all you can think of too. I'm sure of it.

CHEERS!

beautiful faces

Has anyone ever claimed that getting married creates a gap between friends? Because I can testify that this most certainly does not have to be true.  You can go out and have a-better-than-ever-girls-night with the ladies. Married or not. And no, I have not gotten married since my last post, although I recognize that it has been a while. But I have hung out with some of the friends I cherish most, some of whom have been (beautifully married to their amazing counterparts) but does this mean we don't get together, drink some Ocktoberfest and have sleepovers anymore? Um, Heck noooo. Actually, we've really only gotten better with age....and as I upload these shots (and videos), have a tendency to say even more beautiful, (maybe I'm biased, but check it out, and you'll see what I mean...)  There's a glow to these girls, and I love that about them....

who doesn't love glow sticks?

 or a fantastic dance party?....click and be AMAZED.

There really is nothing, ever, that can equal the value of the girlfriends of your youth. And it's even more wonderful when you get to marry off your besties to men of fantastic character who allow their ladies off on nights such as these.... 

Growing up just keeps on being beautifully written, as though there's Someone out there who cares about our happiness....go figure....

I am very blessed.

With fun and laughter and understanding.

Visualize THAT.

SO, the day finallyyy arrived for me to run my first ever road race this Sunday at the Tufts 10K around Boston's Backbay.  Although I've been running for many years, I've always kept it as a personal hobby and fitness strategy and never allowed it to become anything that would require me to challenge myself to any real extent. But I finally decided to just get over it and try a road race because there is always that chance you just might surprise yourself.  and boy, did I ever....

Tom and I got there early enough for me to get out all of my crazy, ridiculous negative thinking about all the things that could go wrong...for someone who has been running the race distance once a week for the last three weeks, as I have, you wouldn't really think too much could go wrong...but I could think of lots of things.  For example, what if I fell down and basically created a pig pile of women or what if I suddenly couldn't run 6 miles despite having done the exact route six days earlier, or what if...and on and on...

Tom was a fantastic sport and just continued to listen (and laugh) at all of the potential catastrophies I'd imagined in my near future.  Then he calmly suggested that I try "positive visualization" and actually imagined myself finishing and feeling like a rockstar and getting the celebratory beer after that we had planned...It sounded like a much better option.

So off I went, thinking positively and starting the run...

And amazingly, or as is common for many but contradictory to my expectations, I felt great and was shocked when I found I had already passed the 3-mile marker.  Although frustrated at times at the extreme congestion of having so many thousands of runners, it was totally stimulating and there was a lot of positive vibe, so seemingly Tom's positive-thinking idea was paying off and before I knew it I was crossing the Mass Ave bridge and heading toward the last two miles.

Feeling slightly caught off-guard by how painless it was feeling thus far, I started stepping up my pace significantly and sure enough, I was rounding the corner of the commons and the finish line was in sight. 6-mile marker was passed and I only had .4 miles left til if was official.  And that's when the baddd feeling started.  You know that feeling when you feel like you're growing to throw up? Yeah, that one. But the thing is that I was starting to think I might actually be pulling a really good personal time and even when you feeeeel like you're going to puke, you never really do (if you're me) so I figured I'd just "run through it" as they say.  Positive visualization, i kept thinking.  But the feeling got worse and with approximately ONE minute left til my feet crossed the line and with the most spectators (thousands) than any other spot on the course because it was the finish line, I literally started puking. But I couldn't stop running. Or believing what was happening. So once I realized that I was actually throwing up the few sips of water I'd grabbed along the way on myself AS I crossed the finish line. 

RIDICULOUS. I mean, how does that happen?! I've never puked from running in my life and I've run distances much longer than 6.4miles. Of ALL the negative thinking I had before the race, never in a MILLION years did I think that I would throw up in front of thousands of people and cameras.  The silver lining, you ask? Because it must be hard to imagine that there was one. BUT I did finish the race and I beat my personal record time finishing in exactly one hour (and 11 seconds). Must have been booking those last two miles that put me over the edge, but I freaking puked all the way across the finish line and if THAT isn't badass, I don't know what is.  

Tom actually just missed the big show ending because he wasn't expecting me to cross for another like 7 or 8 minutes as I had prepped him for my usual timing.  Of course I can't say I'm sorry he missed it. But even though I'm the GROSSEST participant in yesterdays race, I was smiling for the rest of the day and happy to find that, we can, despite ourseleves, make new personal records, exceed our own expectations and laugh in the face of public humiliation. 

Totally worth it. And who doesn't love a good story?

Imagine how boring a post this would have been if I had just run the race, end of story.

Pshh. No way, Hosea.

I ran. I puked.

And I'm still laughing.

The End.

Smiling on the Incline

and I mean INCLINE.  This past Saturday morning, I woke up at the crack of dawn to "suit up" for my first major hike...really ever.  I mean, nature is beautiful and exercise is awesome but hiking has always been, ehhhh...not so fun from my perspective.  The best part? The M&Ms found in the trail mix brought along. (I've later found out this is called "gorp" by the experienced outdoorsy folk). SO be it. I hike for the gorp.

But this time, I was hiking for the summit (views and company of course got me through and meant much more, but who get magnets that say "I hiked Mt. Washington with good company" ya know?)

But I did. And I wouldn't have gotten my suburban butt up 6,288 feet without the blood, sweat and tears that were shed (albeit, there was no blood - thank goodness, and no tears - although give it some time and they might have come).  But there was sweat, and doubt and trembling quads.  HOWEVER, there was also 20 questions.  A game which passes time in a miraculous fashion. Especially when played with Laura, who can discern the MOST abstract characters in order to take the win, time and time again (note: sharon stone is tricky).

We, being the trailblazers we are, decided to take the path less traveled (aka the longer/harder route, hence no one on it with us)...thus leading to exhaustion:

yep, this is 3 hours into the trek and we still can't see the destination....

even Lucy was tired...

But we did it and it felt SO GOOD to get to the top.

(all pics thanks to Laura - the camera wouldn't fit in my fanny-pack.  that's right. Fanny-pack. no shame here folks. I hiked that mountain like it was 1985.)

So, #47 on my bucket list: CHECK.

Time flies...

As I had a blast playing around with this photo of lovely Laura's from Kristy and Charles' FABULOUS wedding a couple weeks ago, I noticed something.  It happens to be the exact wonderful six friends that sit next to me as I sleep every night on the shelf beside my bed in this gem of a shot taken 2 years ago in San Diego, while visiting for Leslie and Keith's wedding.

I think the obvious choice would be to slide the newbie shot right on over the old one as an "update", or that's what neat, orderly people do, I suppose.  I, however, will probably print it as a 5X7, frame it and shove a bunch of things closer together to make it fit on an already cluttered space.  Some may find my obsession with pictures narcissistic. I disagree. (Though not entirely, I just have a totally different folder for those). Anywayyys, its pictures like these that make me feel super lucky and grateful for the friends and experiences I have. And if modern technology makes it easier than ever to edit and store and share them all, then, who I am to not welcome it with open arms?

So, I guess today I was just feeling grand that these ladies are still some of the best faces adorning the walls and shelves of my personal spaces, even after a handful of years have passed on by...

so in the spirit of it, here are a few other goodies:

Gotta love girlfriends. I sure do.

The end.

FALL

Little else to say really, but that it's finally here, again. And this makes my heart happy. While summer days and nights have their own special flavor, there is something about fall that sits with me 'just right'.  I practically have a crush on this season, giddy as I've been watching it descend upon us.  I mean, little yellow school buses riding by, colors bursting in pockets throughout the trees, apple picking, pie baking, pumpkins and football sundays...what is there not to love?! except maybe the shorter days. i will give you that. dark at 7pm tonight...

I was particularly pleased to recently, perhaps prematurely, pull out my box of Autumn-y clothes and such.  Feeling a bit brisk on my walk back to my room from the shower, I felt it was a sure sign that cooler days were ahead.  This provided a perfect excuse to pull out my BRAND NEW Patagonia vest (an investment to say the least. But at least its from the outlet. Tom really needs to stop bringing by the Freeport outlets in search of a particular (sometimes obscure) item that he rarely even finds, while I walk away with several bags cutting off the circulation to my wrists and a pile of wrinkled receipts in my hand.  

Unfortunately, as the sun gained some height above, it became quite a beautiful, sunny day out. Determined as I was to wear my newest purchase, I suffered through the discomfort of perpetually feeling hot (you summer folks actually enjoy this feeling i believe) and the result was a suffocated, pit-stained shirt underneath. not ideal.  I will try to hold out a little longer.  

and since photo-editing seems to be my latest obsession i will leave you with this, repetitive as it is...

Happy Fall :)